Let’s Talk About Fear, Baby!

In my quest to be a better me I have been following and signing up for every Bodybuilding.com Transformation challenge. I stick to the commitment for 2-3 weeks before jumping off the deep end. Now, this baffles me quite a bit. In 2012, when I started running and spinning I managed 4-5 workouts per week for a good year and a half. Since I started training in late 2014 for a Figure competition (I like to say I am in “never ending prep”) my dedication has been lacking. What happened? Oh, you know…

FEAR.

fearEgg

Yes, fear. “I can’t do this” and “I’ll just never be that small” or “I can’t live without cheese for the REST of my life!” or “But what if…” settled in. Self-doubt made a comfortable little home in a corner of my brain and has been stuck there ever since. Fear. Fear is my excuse. Do I think fear is a valid excuse? No, no I do not but I admit I have been using fear to keep me out of the gym and from eating healthy–especially when I am dilly-dallying around in my boyfriend’s house where Oreos and Reese’s minis abound! (The Reese’s! Oy vey). Immense fear. Crippling fear. Fear and failure? Oh boy, I live in the self-doubt everyday and this most definitely is not the first time I have let fear keep me from success.

Without even knowing it though 26 has been my year to let go of fear, take risks and create the life I want. Bodybuilding.com’s latest 6-week challenge–which yes, I am participating in– “Next Level” posed an excellent question for the 1st week of the challenge: Which excuses are you saying good-bye to in order to hit your Next Level?

FEAR.

fear

I am saying good-bye to fear.

Comparison is one of fear’s best friends. When I first started training for Figure, I constantly looked at other competitors and would become more and more discouraged as I saw women who looked nothing like me. I saw women jump on stage after 12 weeks of prepping and I thought “Bah humbug, my fat won’t budge. Why couldn’t I be born skinny-fat like she was?” Or I would read over success stories and think “Why can’t I just stop eating the Oreos?” Rather than focus on what worked best for me, what my body could do and just trusting the process I focused on someone else’s journey. (Sound familiar to anyone?) I overthink every part of the journey–from looking “too thick” in my spandex tights to heading out to a coffee date with friend– that invariably it turns into crippling fear of making a move one way or another. Recently, I have been avoiding the gym because I worry about looking too “pudgy” in my workout gear and feeling like a newbie in the free-weights section. I mean, come on. Ridiculous right? No más. Because honestly, I am not at the gym to model and everyone, even the pros, start somewhere! And I am not saying a woman can’t look good in the gym (because a woman can be whoever and look however she wants), what I am saying is I will not gain my confidence back if I do not practice confidence.

I am saying good-bye to fear.

So without further ado, my “before” progress pictures.

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Part of me doesn’t want to share these. I fear not being: muscular enough, lean enough, attractive enough (in a Bikini). But again to become my best self,

I am saying good-bye to fear.

Now tell me, what are you saying good-bye to this week?

Comment (below), Tweet (@TheFitDominican) or FB (@TheLittleDominican) me to let me know!

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